'Der Viener Schlinger': The meat cannon that launched 20k hot dogs (flatwaterfreepress.org)
103 points by NaOH 3 days ago
myself248 a day ago
Some years back, I helped build a Twinkie cannon, which was mounted in the front of a Twinkie-decorated car, built on a dune buggy chassis. We had to remove the roll cage to fit the fluffy cake body (made of airbrushed yellow fiberglass insulation), so we made sure to drive it quite slowly, but it was a beast underneath if you wanted it to be. (I once drag-raced a pizza driver, and only afterward noticed the cop on the next streetcorner. Luckily it's hard to write a ticket while doubled-over laughing.)
The CO2-powered cannon was capable of way more power than cellophane-wrapped Twinkies can handle. Dial the regulator up past halfway, and they'd just shred on exiting the barrel, splattering anyone near the front of the car with sticky creamy filling and cake crumbs. That was both messy, and disappointing to folks down-range who'd been hoping to catch a snack. (And it immediately summoned a cleanup crew of seagulls, who then wanted more...)
So we learned to keep it modest, and developed a decent sense of pressure vs range. The car geometry allowed only limited variation of the barrel angle, so it wasn't a full-on GORILLA.BAS experience, but it was pretty close.
Culinary ballistics keeps you young. I highly encourage it.
bombcar a day ago
It's also true of paintball guns - it's very easy to dial them up strong enough that they just shred the paintballs.
whaleofatw2022 21 hours ago
Is it?
Never ran into that with any I owned unless the paint was questionable or the barrel was a bad fit for the paint, even when I accidentally had a very 'hot' shooting automag due to co2 and a scorcher of a big game day.
carmine_laguzio 18 hours ago
King-Aaron 17 hours ago
( Thats why you freeze the paintballs )
rskeens a day ago
Safety wise there is also the Maude Flanders t shirt cannon example from The Simpsons (more of an indirect cause).
4d4m a day ago
Neat! May i ask how you got such a unique fabrication and engineering gig?
myself248 a day ago
"Gig" implies paid. Nah. Just for laughs. Because hackerspace.
4d4m a day ago
sellmesoap a day ago
Frankly HN can be a bit of a sausage fest, but this takes the cake!
Bluestein a day ago
I found this very filling, to be frank.-
xg15 a day ago
> In German, “der” means “the.” “Wiener” means “of Vienna (Austria).” Although the English “to sling” probably traces back to Old Norse’s “slynja,” meaning “to hurl,” the German verb “shlingen” means “to wolf or scarf down,” as in food.
Yes, as a German, I was appropriately confused and expected some horrific contraption to get better in hot-dog eating contests or something like that.
But that's nice too.
jareklupinski a day ago
> In Japan, if you use a word wrong, someone will quietly teach you the correct one. In Texas, I thanked a mechanic by saying "you are a good man of the trucks." He did not correct me. He put it on his voicemail. "You've reached Ray. Good man of the trucks."
saltcured 6 hours ago
Hmm, would any of these lead to more immediate understanding and laughter?
Der Wurstsetzwerfer
Das Fleischgeschützer
Der Wurstbeschleuniger
xg15 4 hours ago
I dunno, I found the obvious, over-the-top faux-German of the original pretty hilarious, but maybe that's just me. Especially since it made the thing sound more concerning for German speakers than I imagine for English speakers. ("Schlinger" is the kind of word you'd expect in the name of a fantasy monster or WWII "Wunderwaffe"). Has some Spaceballs/Iron Sky energy to it.
But from your suggestions, "Wurstbeschleuniger" is very clever, "Wurstsatzwerfer" sounds a bit technical, "Fleischgeschütz" is um... how a german redditor might call his best piece.
saltcured 4 hours ago
SoleilAbsolu a day ago
> expected some horrific contraption to get better in hot-dog eating contests or something like that.
KSAAS - Kobayashi Shake As A Service (TM)
rdtsc a day ago
I wouldn't overthink it. It's "parody German": a hot dog slinger but "Germanized", if you will, to be funny
> When he was a standup comic in Los Angeles, Omapod host Tony Bock used to do a bit about the name. “Just saying ‘Der Viener Schlinger’ on a comedy stage gets a laugh, whether you’re in Nebraska or not,” he told me. “There’s something quintessentially Nebraskan about mustering the courage to solve the problem we faced before the advent of this invention: the inability to ‘schling’ the wieners.”
herewulf 18 hours ago
In German spelling, "v" at the start of a word is pronounced "f"[1], so the title is really bizarre if you know the slightest amount of German. "Schlinger" has been covered by other comments.
[1]: Excepting words borrowed from other languages like "Vase".
I'm a German descended US-ian, speak both languages , and enjoy a good German language joke. This one could have been done better in written form. shrugs
xg15 a day ago
I know, just found it funny :)
croes a day ago
For further explanation Wiener means Wiener sausage and is a kind of Frankfurter sausage.
In Austria a Wiener is a different kind of sausage and the German Wiener is called Frankfurter
shevy-java a day ago
But there is no german verb called "shlingen".
Does the person who wrote this, speak german?
I assume "schlingen" was meant, but this sounds more like "etwas herunterschlingen" aka eating quickly; that was mentioned via "scarf down, as in food", but to me it sounds more like a description of the object that is held here, like a sling.
But why would that be associated with Vienna, anyway? Nothing like that exists in Vienna really. Also I am not sure about that explanation; to sling makes more sense with hurling something in this context. And the thing looks like a huge slinger. Nobody is opening the mouth to eat everything coming out of that thing right?
xg15 a day ago
Well, they didn't mean "schlingen" obviously, so I guess they made up a new word :)
Vienna is probably because of Wiener Würstchen, i.e. the hot dog sausages.
4ggr0 a day ago
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4ggr0 a day ago
i was fully expecting to see black and white pictures of some german soldiers testing a newly built weapon, was surprised to see a football player carrying a hotdog-shaped cannon.
the broken/fake german did make me suspicious, so i should've seen it coming.
EDIT: imagine a Schwerer Gustav[0] shooting a huge sausage, that's where my brain was going.
EDIT2: according to wiki Gustav can shoot 14 rounds per day, so we could deliver 14 of these sausages[1] daily. why? not sure, combating food scarcity without having to actually go there. Sausage as a Service, directly to your front door.
[0]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwerer_Gustav [1]https://i0.wp.com/billypenn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/v...
ruther4d a day ago
With a name like J.J. Harder he was destined to schlinger der viener
4ggr0 a day ago
*den
ungreased0675 a day ago
This kind of journalism is refreshing and awesome.
randusername a day ago
Don't let any news outlet convince you the story of humanity is exclusively one of war, pestilence, exploitation, and ignorance when we also find time to engineer meat cannons and give them silly names
kazinator a day ago
Why they misspelled "Wiener" is beyond me. The city of Wien is dubbed by the exonym Vienna with a "v" in English, true enough, but the sausage is "wiener", not "viener"! We took the spelling of the "Wiener" adjective from German intact, just like with Frankfurter and Hamburger.
They should have checked the verb that they invented; it does land on a German word that doesn't have the meaning they think, and something can be found that works and still sounds okay in English, like "schleuder".
Furthermore, words like "schleuder" evidently tend to be feminine: so we want "Die Wiener Schleuder":
E.g. see this movie title:
Polizeiposaune a day ago
One small step along the path to making the Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel a reality.
ramesh31 a day ago
>"Since 2018, a Gatling gun version mounted on a prop grill has been shooting out brats at Milwaukee Bucks’ home games at the rate of 24 per 10 seconds; each is enclosed in a foam noodle, which allows condiment packets to accompany the dog."
America.
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kakacik a day ago
Well yeah some stuff across the pond just gets few eyebrows raised and ...but why? questions asked. Lets agree there are some differences on what is perceived cool
mrlonglong a day ago
UK's Health and Safety probably would shudder quite a bit at this and say verboten.
robotresearcher a day ago
Polizeiposaune a day ago
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fridder a day ago
My alma mater. I do love that improving it was an engineering project
bigredhdl a day ago
Mine also. I've caught a 'Schlinger' launched hot dog. It was extra smushed, but still tasty.
ChickeNES a day ago
I built something like this using compressed air for the UChicago Scavenger Hunt, launched one dog clear over my four story dorm lol.
DarkCow a day ago
Approaching middle age, I'm grateful that there still seems to be a supply in the world of such wondrous creations as this, previously unknown to me.
However, I was disappointed that the article conspicuously omitted the story of the original invention.
Anyway, here's the patent ("Process for propelling foodstuffs or the like into a crowd"): https://patents.google.com/patent/US5996568A/en
pezezin a day ago
Are you really telling me that the Hot Dog Cannon from Tyrian actually exists? o_O
dmtroyer a day ago
time to move on to 2026 and hook it up to an automated roller grill, or some other fantastic fashion of heating up and assembling the hot dog.
TriadDarren a day ago
This is such a great article.
ulfw 15 hours ago
Viener, really?
shevy-java a day ago
That name is super-strange.
"Der Viener Schlinger".
So ... "Der" is german, we can translate this into "The".
"Schlinger" is a strange word; there is Schlinge in german, which could be translated as loop, snare or, better, a sling. You can see how similar sling is to Schling or vice versa here. To sling ... may also be herumschlingen, a snake may have a similar movement like that; curvy movement aka not linear or so. Makes sense for a sling that throws stuff about, see the slingshot channel or Tod's Workshop. So far this is a bit strange, but not totally strange.
But next comes ... "Viener". This is VERY strange. Where does this word originate? My first impression was it was from Vienna, a city; the german name for the city is "Wien", and if you replace the V here with a W, then it would be "Wiener" (which in english would be viennese, but in local wording). So when I first read the three words, I thought this originated from Vienna ... but that makes no sense. It's from the USA. So Viener must mean something else. But then why it is "Schlinger" rather than "slinger" or sling"? And why the name "Der"? I mean that only makes sense for a german word. Now I am very confused.
I also don't recall any meat cannon as a tradition in central Europe either, so that makes no sense either. Who coined that word here, anyway?
orangedog a day ago
It's just "The Wiener Slinger" in psuedo-German. The article mentions its origins.
Taikonerd a day ago
Yeah, it's jokey pseudo-German, like the old 1950s hacker meme about Der Blinkenlights [0].
unwind a day ago
It's weird to people familiar with real German, since 'V' in German is pronounced like 'F' in English.
It's like they took a word already from German ("wiener" as in hot dog) and then broke it while trying to make it more German, or something.
undefined a day ago
Crunchified a day ago
It's not that strange to me. Wiener Schnitzel, a lovely breaded and fried veal dish of Viennese origin, is a commonly used "funny German word" in English. Der Viener Schlinger is apparently just about as funny, and easily enough "translated" into English.
dragontamer a day ago
Learning German beginner here (I'm somewhere above A2 but probably not B1 yet).
I had exactly the same concerns as you. My brain was very confused by this name and I was wondering if I got something wrong.
Turns out it's just an American making fake-German. Huh. So this is what it feels like....
It's a better job than a lot of fake German words by Americans. But it's still not quite right to me.
bityard a day ago
HN never lets me down when it comes to pedantic critiques of obvious humor!
dmtroyer a day ago
bad bot.
ChrisRR a day ago
> I have a lot of German background
If you didn't read the rest of the article, that's how you always know they're american